Daddy Doesn't Do It Right

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Does Dad help enough with the kids? Do you nag him too much for him to want to help? We're digging in to find out who really does the majority of the childcare in families, and why. Tell us what the dealio is in your family.

Is Dad allowed to dress the kids on picture day?

13 comments on "Daddy Doesn't Do It Right"

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misspip said…

I don’t think it is “useless” at all, he is just completely playing me!! If he does not do it right first time he knows I will end up doing it myself in the future! Smart man. I am putty in his hands…
sarah said…

My husband says “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” and then actually does whatever I say. I love this, but to be honest, I’d rather he come up with something totally mind blowing on his own. Just keepin’ it real!
jamiea said…

I learned my lesson when my dd was little and nearly rejected my husband because I just wouldn’t leave them alone to make their own mistakes. Now, 9.5 years and two kids later, I realize that unless someone’s going to die or be permanently damaged, it’ll be okay in the end. Moms and Dads parent different and neither way is more right or wrong than the other. In fact, I think the kids need the diversity between the parenting styles.
pilot said…

My husband does a nice job of getting the kids involved. I’m still deciding whether Mother’s Day should always involve the kids. With my daughter’s birthday in mid-May sometimes we let Her Day, and the preparation for this seemingly national holiday, cast a wide shadow over My Day. My own fault!
all4seasons1 said…

I learned a long time ago to keep my Type A personality in check when my husband has the kids. When I ask my husband for help – he does it his way and that is fine by me! I don’t want to make him nervous and feel like I am watching and judging or the 30% he helps right now will shoot down to 0%!
lbjack said…

I agree with you Sarah- these guys should come up with some shabang idea on their own!
hattie said…

My children’s father always had a surprise gift from him and the children. Also special was breakfast, made with the kids. My second husband always took the kids and me to a fabulous Mother’s Day brunch. It feels great to be appreciated and fathers should work w/ the kids to treat mom on that day.
sarahm said…

I have this weird reaction to mother’s day. Can’t help but feel like my kids and husnband are being forced/told to appreciate me which feels less than genuine…but maybe forced appreciation is better than no appreciation…spontaneous appreciation, now that’s for me!
annemarie said…

Daddy basically does it right over here. Right now, my kids are 3 so are just learning the meaning of the day. I think it’s important for the kids to learn that the day is for appreciating the mamas in the world.
reba said…

I will take any opportunity to sleep in, if it comes in the form of a holiday coined Mother’s Day, fantastic, give it to me! In our house my husband kicks in big time in many areas, and it seems over time he has realized how hard it is for one parent to take on the burden of the majority of the kid responsibilities and he definitely chips in big time when he is not traveling for work, with playing with our kids and nearly the whole neighborhood through the weekends and evening, he is an amazing cook, has taken the laundry into his own hands, and now takes the big one to school & walks the dog in the morning, he is a total stud in my eyes…that being said, the one thing I learned very early on, is he needs his sleep so I would say that is the one thing that is not really “fair” in our house, everything else I don’t really care about if it is shared 50/50, so if once a year, I can guiltlessly sleep in one morning knowing he wants to get up this one morning for me, due to the fact it is Mother’s Day, damn I will take it!
albini said…

I am very lucky that my DH views parenting as being a 50/50 job. I know that he will be able to handle all 4 kids and the household if I were to go away for a few days. It may not be done the way i would do it..like instead of a trim my 8 year old son has a Mohawk, but it gets done in the end.
straight_dope_dad said…

I’m a stay at home, self employed dad and I get criticized everyday. I’m lucky to get through breakfast without a comment or a sigh of disapproval. Comparing notes with my buddies I’ve just come to the conclusion that this is how most women just are. It really doesn’t matter what you do you will always fall short of their glory. My partner believes there is one right way to do everything, and it’s her way. She says if there way a better way, she’d be doing it. So unless I have hard evidence of a better way, her way is right. It’s a self fulfilling circular logic pattern. I wrote about it here on my fatherhood blog http://www.straightdopedad.com/father-not-a-babysitter/
dozerzmom said…

Good 4u Straight Dope Dad!
I DO get frustrated at DH when he does stuff. But I’ve learned:
1. Sometimes if it’s done another way, it’s fine! EX: He put away some clothes. They’re folded different and don’t fit as well, but hey, they’re folded and put away! He didn’t cut up/put out baby’s food the way u do. If he ate it, so what?
2. If you do have an important issue: EX: You fed him, but didn’t clean up after, or bedtime is 9, not 10:30…Then you DON’T NAG/ATTACK! But talk about it w/o the attitude. Say: I really appreciate that you fed baby and let me sleep in, BUT, can you please also clean up the chair/tray/dishes afterwards? We don’t want any visitors-we’ll be late going out etc. (give a reason, not just, IT’S WRONG…)