You're Not So Special

Additional Footage

Embed Video Share Video

More Footage 1 2 3 4

"Are We in a Narcissism Epidemic?...Why you're not so special" -from recent Newsweek Magazine. People are talking about parental overpraise all over the Web these days, JBJ included. Sound off here!

9 comments on "You're Not So Special"

Join or Sign In to Comment

misspip said…

Yes, sadly I have said that exact thing only yesterday! I am an overpraiser, its official! In everything except bizarrely art work where somehow I am unable to praise the lame scribbles. This has resulted in overly cocky children who run onto a soccer pitch shouting “Make way, the Dominator is here!” (they are so annoying!) but completely refuse to paint or draw…
sarah said…

We are a generation of such wimpy parents! A new book is out this week on this topic, and Newsweek has a great article reviewing it here.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/194640
What do others think? Are we in a narcissism epidemic?
jamiea said…

As a parent, one problem I have is feeling judged because I’m willing to admit that my kids are pretty much average. My oldest is smart, but not gifted. My youngest is athletic but certainly not a sports savant. I feel like a leper sometimes when I can’t say that I think either girl is exceptional (beyond, of course, what I see with my mom goggles) or gifted because it seems that so many parents are making these claims.
ramblinggoddess said…

Somewhere in there is the underlying current of the idea that you might scar your child for life if you over the top praise him all the time.
I praise when appropriate, but I get told often that I am too hard on my son because I am not always showing everyone else that I fall into the goodie goodie praise my kid all the time parent bucket. I didn’t realize that I was required to demonstrate my parenting skills to every Tom Dick and Harry.
where is there a middle ground for frustrated parents?
babiesgottahaveit said…

So…I never won a trophy in my life. But you know, I wasn’t an athlete. So that was really okay. If our kids get everything, they will value nothing. Yeah,I think we need to teach our kids that what’s important is that you try your hardest. But I, also think that we need to exercise restraint and let that which is truly exceptional,shine.
theunorganizedmom said…

I am guilty as charged. I made these mistakes, and so many more, with our older two children that I vowed NOT to make them with the younger three.

But it isn’t just parents, at school we have to invite EVERYONE in the class or no one because we don’t want to hurt any feelings. Well sorry kids, life aint easy, and not everyone will like you all the time. Better to learn that now than at 30 when your the obnoxious person who no one wants to invite anywhere!

When they participate in sports of any kind, they ALL get a trophy or a medal. My 4 year old niece has it all figured out though, she is in gymnastics and they have an end of the year performance where family members can come watch, and then they all get a medal at the end. My sister signed her up, and then told my niece she would be participating (this would be her 2nd year). My niece said,“NO, I’m not going”,my sister proceeded to tell her she would get a medal she said, " I already have one, I don’t need another one"! The medals and trophies come to mean nothing to them if they get one for everything!
bwankel said…

I read a fan-freaking-tastic article a while back on this subject. That article talked about how it’s a problem with the current 20 somethings. It called them the “millenials”. They are expecting raises from work just for showing up. They are talking back to bosses who give them constructive criticism. They, I’m guessing, are among the 68% (68!!!) that think their child is gifted. Too much praise is certainly a problem, and I love my kid and everything, but I want him to have a realistic view of the world and his strengths.
gramabarb said…

I loved Krista and Nick’s little daughter’s face. So cute and so real. I hope she has alone time with Mom and Dad.
junkinmytrunk said…

“You’re not so special” is old-school. I know this because my MIL just said it to ME about my blog! Nice! I think pride was thought of as a negative emotion, and it certainly can be. I want my kids to think that I’m their biggest fan, but not the entire universe!